Deadly Dieting
Experiences in Anorexia
By C.J. Marshall

C. J. Marshall works with The Journal of Health & Healing, Wildwood Lifestyle Center & Hospital, Wildwood, Georgia. This article originally appeared in The Journal of Health and Healing and is used with their permission.

BOMBARDED BY PICTURE - perfect images of fashion models, celebrities, and the disproportioned Barbie Doll, it's no wonder so many people, particularly in Western society, are on some sort of diet.
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The frequency with which diets become disorders is frightening in an estimated 8 million Americans and 70 million individuals worldwide. Eating disorders have been present in children as young as three years old and in adults as old as ninety. However, typical age of onset is anywhere from 12-18 years of age.*

Occasionally skipping breakfast, living off fast-food while traveling, and grabbing a candy bar on the run is quite common in today's fast-paced society. But these random bouts of "disordered eat-ing" differ drastically from "eating disorders." Those labeled as having a disorder are people whose eating habits lead to an all-consuming obsession with food. Some excessively overeat, others binge and purge, while a third group fall into the even deadlier trap of starvation known as anorexia nervosa.

Why anorexia manifests itself in some dieters but not in others is not a total mystery. Research indicates that those who fall prey to this most drastic type of eating disorder may also be extremists, perfectionists, and people-pleasers. Thus, they eagerly acquiesce to unrealistic parental and scholastic expectations as well as a vast array of unwholesome societal and peer pressures.

Many other underlying issues play a role in over-determined dieting such as guilt, shame, depression, anxiety disorders, substance abuse, and fear of growing up.
Because of their intense fear of losing control and becoming fat, those suffering from anorexia typically:
•    develop unusual eating habits
•    weigh and portion food carefully
•    check their body weight repeatedly
•    abuse laxatives, enemas, and diuretics 
•    engage in intense and compulsive exercise
•    avoid meals and social functions centered around food
•    select a few "safe" foods and eat them in small quantities

•    see themselves as overweight even though they are dangerously thin

Medical complications of anorexia are:*
•        shrunken organs,
•        kidney disease and/or failure,
•        memory loss and disorientation,
•        fluid and electrolyte imbalances,
•         deterioration of muscles (including the heart),
•        irregular heartbeat that can lead to cardiac arrest,
•        bone density loss, leading to osteoporosis, and
•        death (most commonly from cardiac arrest, organ failure, electrolyte imbalance, and suicide).
* The Alliance for Eating Disorders Awareness. P.O. Box 13155, North Palm Beach, Florida, 33408-3155, (866)-662-1235.

Models, gymnasts, figure skaters, and ballerinas seem to be the most susceptible to anorexia, trying to obtain the thin like body-shape demanded by their chosen vocation.
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Such was the case with Joy.**  We share with you her experience:It started with two simple sentences spoken by a ballet instructor: "I want each of you to lose at least five pounds. We'll start weekly weigh-ins on Monday."Miss Miriam was long and lean... and intolerant of imperfection. Her demands pushed Joy, then a 15-year-old people-pleaser, into the arms of the eating disorder, anorexia nervosa. The experience robbed her of years of joy and could have taken her life.

Joy began an innocent diet of eating fewer slices of pizza at high school gatherings. But weigh-ins were unsuccessful. When she also cut back on sweets, her clothes began to feel a little looser, but the scale remained the enemy. After two months of random meal-skipping, she had lost the required five pounds:Then came Thanksgiving. Joy stared at the platters of food with a mixture of desire and disgust. Overpowered by the feeling of deprivation, she piled her plate high and gorged. Thus began her love/ hate relationship with food—she hated herself for loving it.

Monday she faced the scale again. The entire class had gorged over the long holiday weekend. Miss Miriam was not amused. Her angry words, "Nobody wants to watch overweight dancers, "cut through her students like a knife. From then on, Joy determined never again to succumb to her ravenous appetite.
** All names have been changed.

When her stomach growled, she would eat what she determined were "safe foods" like crackers, popcorn, and celery. The hunger pangs eventually went away; emotional ones remained. Unaware of the dangers of dehydration, she also limited her fluid intake to avoid retaining water.
To look at her, you'd think that her diet was successful. Inside, she was miserable. Compliments on her slimmed-down physique only fueled the fire.

Soon came Christmas. It seemed everyone wanted to sabotage Joy's "success." The joking comments of well-meaning relatives echoed through her head:"We're gonna fatten you up!" At that point, she would have preferred death.Weeks turned into months. Joy’s starving body screamed for nutrition. Food became an obsession—to which she wouldn't dare surrender. As her muscles and bones got weaker, she felt increasingly heavier, so she exercised her listless body to exhaustion. Her metabolism drastically slowed, so she had to eat even less to show a loss. Joy ate just enough to stay alive, and wore just enough layers of clothing to hide her wasting form.

At a frail 97 pounds, she dragged herself to dance class, hoping Miss Miriam's approval would release her from the diet prison. Miss Miriam gazed adoringly at Joy and whispered, 'You're starting to look good. Keep up the good work." Joy was haunted by those bittersweet accolades-words of "encouragement" condoning slow suicide.
Months turned into years. The diet had become a disease. Joy spent the next three years tormented about what to eat or not eat. Though she could barely walk without feeling faint, she forced herself to jog. The strict regimen soon became less about being thin than it was about being in control of something. Anything! Victims of anorexia guard with fierce deter-mination the one area in their lives they can control.

Joy convinced concerned family and friends that she could "fix" her problem on her own. She knew she would have to show signs of improvement in order to keep from seeing a physician. Persuaded by her malnourished mind that recovery meant obesity, she felt ill and out of control at the thought of gaining even an ounce. She feared that mere ounces would turn into pounds overnight, quickly multiplying to 300 or more pounds within days. What a nourished mind knows to be physiologically impossible torments the minds of those in anorexia's grip.

In order to prevent these horrors from happening, people struggling with anorexia often compile a list of "food rules" to which they strongly adhere. Mealtimes become even more rigid and ritualistic; exercising becomes even more intense.Frightened by the reality of possibly dying from her disorder, Joy started eating very small meals trying to nurse herself back to health. But at 19, she wasn't skilled in cooking balanced meals, so she adopted a fast-food, junk-food diet. The result was unhealthful weight gain which scared her back into a regimen of total deprivation.
She then adopted a total vegetarian diet. Year by year, meal by meal, and ounce by ounce with fewer and fewer setbacks, she began maintaining a normal weight. By then, because the disease had been a smothering acquaintance for 10 years, Joy was greatly relieved when they parted company. A few years later, however, anorexia returned with a vengeance. Joy succumbed to it initially, but soon realized what was happening and fought it with a strength that only comes from God. Angry that Plan B wasn't successful, the merciless illness came knocking again, cleverly disguised as spiritual fasting. Wise to its trickery, Joy pressed through each meal.
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Fortunately, soon after this, she learned of the NEWSTART program which combines eight lifestyle principles (Nutrition, Exercise, Water, Sunshine, Temperance, Air, Rest, and Trust in God), all necessary for optimum health. By adopting this lifestyle, finally accepting consistent nourishment for her brain as well as her body, Joy was able to find, and maintain, balance.

Years of depriving oneself of nutrition does have unfortunate consequences, however. The stress Joy's body endured doing those dreadful years has weakened her physically, still manifesting itself in fatigue and lethargy. She was diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure at the age of 37. Her cognitive abilities and concentration levels have also been hindered. But by God's grace, her body and mind are being restored.

The road to recovery is a daily walk, for occasionally anorexia nervosa tries to slither back into her life. It's been 26 years since they were intimately introduced. But with her identity no longer wrapped up in appearance, and her strict reins of control turned over to God, "Joy" is now able to "enjoy" life. With a smile of victory, she is closing (and hopefully locking) the door on this cruel, vindictive disorder.

Also known as the "slimmer's disease," anorexia does not discriminate between the sexes. An estimated one million males suffer from it.

The Story of One Man's Struggle...
At the age of 22, Brian was admitted to the hospital weighing only 90 pounds. His 5-foot, 10-inch frame looked like a walking skeleton. For lack of a better diagnosis, he was labeled "anorexic." Just a year and a half before, he had been at his normal weight of 145 pounds. What caused his downward spiral?
Brian had become involved in some eastern religions that encouraged strict self-denial to the extreme point of refusing himself sufficient nourishment. His perfectionist state of mind was "feeding" off the idea that a rigorous, spiritual discipline would enable him to experience life on a higher plane. Having dabbled in psychedelics in his late teens, Brian's former drug-induced "religious" experiences left him longing for more of that "free" feeling. When false religions claimed to offer mental nirvana through so-called healthier means, Brian was hooked. His "hunger" to have a real religious experience led him down many misguided paths. His well-intentioned, spiritual self-denial became persistent, mystical self-destruction.
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The more often that Brian fasted from food, the more anxious he became when it was time to break the fast. Appetite control became his entire focus in life. He was extremely careful about every morsel that passed his lips. "Pleasure foods" were strictly prohibited. If he ever allowed himself to indulge in forbidden foods, he would subsequently indulge in feelings of guilt. "Then," he says, "the guilt would compound and I would just eat and eat and eat." It was an extremist existence with both "ditches," as he calls them, being unhealthful. "As a result, I was getting very little good nutrition. I was shocking my body with both extremes." His hectic travel schedule kept his body even further off kilter.
Brian was given a "new start" when he moved to Italy. Being away from all his friends and family, he was forced to reassess his priorities and goals. By no coincidence, he was brought in contact with a Christian family who housed him and allowed him to work on their farm. Their loving acceptance of him was a healing balm to his soul. Their balanced NEWSTART lifestyle spoke volumes. Ignorant of the importance of proper nutrtion, however, Brian ignored the family's hearty mealtime example. He tried to perform long hours of arduous farming tasks on very few, if any, calories.
That's when he got sick and was hospitalized. He was so weak he could barely walk down the hospital corridor. Intravenous feedings allowed him to regain a bit of strength. Nine days and ten pounds later, he was released. On a consistent meal plan of healthy food, Brian was able to reach 120 pounds and actually allow himself the pleasure of eating. For a while, his weight stabilized and he wasn't able to gain any more. In fact, his weight would often drop back down, not out of fear of gaining weight but, rather, in response to stressful situations.
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"The issue is not really about food," Brian says, "it is mostly about control." He also believes that, out of "distaste" for the gluttony and selfishness abounding on our sin-sick planet, this bizarre form of "body language" is a backhanded way of shouting to the world (without ever saying a word) that "Something is seriously wrong! Pay attention!"
For months, Brian continued to be obsessed with thoughts of food: when to eat, where to eat, what to eat, and how much to eat. "Then I realized that the Lord didn't want me to be anxious about those things," he says. Little victories led to big victories both interspersed with periods of seeming defeat.

In 1998, at 105 pounds, Brian returned to the states. Friends, family, and new acquaintances didn't understand his disorder and began questioning his lifestyle. People began praying for him, and Brian terms the results "miraculous." Over the next several years, through implementing the principles of the NEWSTART program, Brian's mind became more stable, his weight gradually returned to normal, and his dream of being a good example of healthful living continues to be a reality... one day (and one meal) at a time.
Those struggling with other types of addictions (to caffeine, alcohol, tobacco, etc.) can thrive without ever ingesting their drug of choice; but no one can survive long without food. This simple, differentiating factor makes this often fatal disease of continued grave concern.

Covering all aspects of this multi-faceted disease and understanding it fully is simply not possible in one article—or even an entire periodical. But as more people become aware of the seriousness of anorexia nervosa and its warning signs, we can shun becoming another statistic as we avoid, and help others avoid, deadly dieting. ■

Note: This article does not seek to imply that the NEWSTART program is a cure-all for anorexia nervosa. Sufferers may also wish to seek specialized counsel or medical intervention.   However, we do wish to convey, as we learn from Joy's and Brian's all-too-true accounts, that overcoming eating disorders rather than succumbing to them is certainly possible with careful lifestyle changes and God's strength.

FOR MORE INFORMATION:
National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH)
Office of Communications and Public Liaison Public Inquiries: (301) 443-4513
Web site: http://www.nimh.nih.gov/
Harvard Eating Disorders Center
c/o Massachusetts General Hospital 15 Parkman Street, Boston, MA 02114
Phone: (617) 726-8470
Web site: http://www.hedc.org
National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders
P.O. Box 7, Highland Park, IL 60035
Phone: (847)831-3438
Web site: http://www.anad.org
National Eating Disorders Association
603 Stewart Street, Suite 803, Seattle, WA 98101 Phone: (206) 382-3587
Web site: http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org
Bulimia Anorexia Nervosa Association
300 Cabana Rd East, Windsor, ON, N9G 1 A3, Canada
Phone: (519)969-2112
If you would like to subscribe to The Journal of Health and Healing or order back issues where many more health articles are available, call 706-820-1493, Ext. 407.